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I won't lie to you. Some weeks, it's difficult to think of what I want to post about. So today, you're getting a list of random notes that I have. Some of them are related to my books, some of them are discoveries I've come to, and some of them are just nonsense. Some are from years ago, and some are from hours ago! SO... Grab yourself a cup of tea or cocoa or coffee or whatever you want (your life buddy) and get ready for a trip through my wild psyche. Enjoy!

After the death of his best friend, he kind of just became distant. Like he was avoiding it altogether. He never spoke about it, but no one else ever brought it up because it would be awkward. But he never loved, and I think that’s important. He knew it was his fault, and he wouldn’t put someone else’s life in his hands ever again. You can’t hold a heart when your palms are too bloody.

If you want to make someone feel like nobody, make them feel like everybody.

I always think of how great I’m doing

And then I think of how great I’m doing without you

And then I think of you

And suddenly I’m not doing so great

The dark face of adversity; that is the best place to shine.

The only way to tell a madman from a prophet is to wait.

You are just like everybody else, and that’s why you’re desirable to everybody else.

Calculate the future cost of present decisions.

When the strong cater to the weak, everyone gets weaker.

Any reasonable man who wants a pretty lady to himself is subject to becoming unreasonable in his means to claim her.

I still dream about our younger days, back when we could only imagine what the sea looked like and what the sunset looked like past the trees. Back when we thought we were invincible, you know?

“It doesn’t matter what you say, they only care about the things that you did. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, kid.”

She wore but a sundress and a smile, both white and soft as the clouds in the sky.

A dove knows nothing of the aspirations of a phoenix.

If only there were a fool in this universe to be as smart as me.

“I don’t know you how you do it, Kross. It seems like everywhere you turn there’s just more pain for you... I can’t say I’d be able to keep going the same as you do.”

“It doesn’t get any easier...” He frowned. “But in spite of everything, I still firmly believe this world is worth fighting for.”

I learned how to walk by walking, I learned how to speak by speaking. In being me, I learned how to be me. In being human, I learned how to be the universe.

Let it burn out, the cooling embers are often pretty to look at even in the cold.

The idea of realization is to make something reality. To believe it so fundamentally that it becomes real. To REALize it.

The universe tests its scales by dropping a heavy weight on one end of it, but it’s a liquid, and it has to go back and forth from one extreme to the next until it levels out.

I am astute in some ways, oblivious in the next. For example, there are few emotions I am not familiar with, few faces I cannot read, and few articulations I cannot decode. Yet I would sooner walk into a freeway while watching characters in my head fence than notice the headlights brightening my skin.

You offer me a crown and silly golden chair beside you in an attempt to distract me from the fact that I am already king.

El Enit Fidharta - The brilliant forget.

“She does not wear an ounce of pride, that Trilla!”

“Or lust, or wrath, or anything else. She is innocent.”

“Innocent? She’s helpless!”

“Oft so the innocent are.”

There is trauma in escaping the echo chamber.

Am I… Dying?

Her hair was what happened when strawberries fermented; her breath was the fire of a drake. She was nature. And [insert name] was man’s instinct to destroy it.

I’ve got a payment plan for suicide,

One payment was too much so I

Kill myself a little more every time.

I stare up at the red lights,

Looking for a sign,

But they all mean the same thing,

So really why do I

Stare up at electronics,

As if they are the eyes

Of someone I can trust

When all they tell is lies?

I wish I didn’t understand these broken characters,

Who are shaky and scornful and break down.

I wish I still found it unrealistic or silly, in my highest chair, where I had never been touched.

But I was toppled over.

Dragged under.

Now I understand it in a way nobody should have to.

The anguish.

The hopelessness.

Knowing that there is no achievable victory, that you lose no matter what.

Worse? That the villain acts like the victim. They are so convinced of their own narrative that they are able to convince others of it.

Knowing that I will never be understood except by people who have undergone the same torture.

Whose spirits have been broken.

Why are we so quick to draw blood

On soil so sacred as a heart

There is a goddess, and her crown is the constellations, and her between her palms she molds new suns, and she radiates.

We go so far as to have mass conferences in which people say profound things, so their audience of profound people can agree and nod along and feel good, and the rest of the population can disagree! One either gets it or one does not. You cannot make them.

“Life is just a string of tragedies over and over, never-ending.”

“Think of all of the things that string could mend.”

I look up at the stars and I think about how I know nothing at all, and how one day nothing at all will know me, too, and it feels so morbid and so hollow and yet so substantial and full and… I just don’t know.

Let me know what you think! Do you have any "contemplations" you might like to add? I post blogs every Thursday, so be sure to subscribe to keep up to date with that.

If you to help support my financial independence, you can head on over to my glorious shop and purchase literally anything. Yep! That's this week's product! Enjoy, love you, bye!

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